Friday, April 17, 2009

"I wanna name her Dottie after my wife. She's a vicious life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape..."

Kerry Knudsen, a curator at the UC Riverside Herbarium, names a new species of tough, orange-colored lichen, Caloplaca obamae, after the 44th president.
Oh fits...


1. One of the few classifications on the planet that can grow in very hostile conditions...hence, they are EXTREMIST.

2. A significant number of lichen species can be considered purely those individuals who signed a legal document to pay a mortgage knowing that there was no chance in hell of them fulfilling the contract...thus requiring the Obama Administration the opportunity to promote a parasitic relationship where these same individuals can live off the resources of the rest of us. Parasitism with a capital "P."

3. Most lichens reproduce via meiosis. The spores of the fungus (lets call Obama and his Socialistic tendencies a fungus...shall we?) meet up with the algal partner (why not refer to the zombietype Obama supporters and the appeasing Democrat heavy Congress as the algae...OK?) and *PRESTO*...more useless crevace cracking monument damaging lichens.
I like it...President Obama is, indeed, a lichen.