It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

There are two rules to join his Web site:

1. You must be in prison.

2. You must be smoking hot.

"If the guys who send applications aren't hot enough, I have to send them back," said Wagner.

He gets pictures from inmates every day who often fork over the fee of $19 to $39 for a personal ad with checks drawn on prison bank accounts.

In the last two years, hotprisonpals.com has scored 15 million hits, and it's rising. Advertisers are clamoring to be on it. So Wagner, 46, took on a partner, Jason Rupp.

They don't screen prisoners' records. It's buyer beware.

Proof that humans are inherently stupid. And, forgive me for asking...but could someone in the correctional institute actually invoke a little punishment now and then?

Say ladies...check out this CRIMINAL:

"I'm a genuine Alpha Male," wrote Leonard. "I spent the last 16 years in solitary confinement. I'm dominant, aggressive and into kinky relationships. I'm also bisexual. I'm seeking Loyal Submissive types (Male or Female). I look forward to hearing from YOU."

There's a keeper...right up until the moment he chains you to the leaky drain pipe in the hidden room under the barn. Dress warm...