Friday, January 16, 2009

Green is the new...crock of festering puss...

"2009 Green Inaugural Ball"

The organizers of the 2009 Green Inaugural Ball are committed to making this the greenest inaugural ball possible.

--100% of the carbon footprint of the event is being offset with high quality carbon offsets from Native Energy. The offsets will support a portfolio of renewable energy technologies.
--The event's menu developed by Grand Cuisine and Chef Bradley Nairne, in consultation with renowned organic Chef Nora Pouillon, will include locally-sourced, organic and seasonal food.
--Waste from the event will be recycled, reused and composted by the Waste Neutral Group. No plastic bottles will be available
--Waste items will be source separated into biodegradable trash bags supplied by Perf Go Green.
--Lighting will incorporate the latest LED technology
--Limited paper and signage was used to produce and publicize the event.
--All printed materials will be printed on recycled paper using soy based ink.
--All bathrooms will use biodegradable soap and energy efficient air dryers.
--All linens are cleaned without the use of chemicals, and in a manner that uses less water and drying time.
--Floral decorations are organic, being kept to a minimum, and arrangements will be donated and reused.
--Attendees were encouraged to use metro, walk, or drive a hybrid to the event to minimize emissions from transportation.
--Trucks will not be permitted to idle while in the loading bays.
--The Green Carpet greeting guests, provided by Bentley Prince Street, is made with 100 percent renewable electrical energy and is made of 10% consumer waste. The carpet will be completely recycled after the event.
--Even the coat check will feature reusable numbers instead of paper tags.
--Guests will be encouraged to reduce their carbon footprint by purchasing carbon offsets through a partnership with Native Energy
--Many additional greening aspects were explored but were not feasible due to security, infrastructure, and availability of vendors to service.
The Gormless Worm will not be having an Inaugural Ball of any kind, shape or when they say, "The organizers of the 2009 Green Inaugural Ball are committed to making this the greenest inaugural ball possible"...I say...BULLHOCKEY!!!

Why have an inaugural ball at all? Oh...and look!!!

This event has been planned and will be executed in accordance with House and Senate ethics rules.
Too easy...I believe this means there will be topless dancers, male escort services, a lobbying social, and ongoing games of pin the tale on your favorite jackass (which is like checking the time in a clock factory).